Stardew Valley: These absurdities still drive me to despair after 300 hours

Stardew Valley is full of odd little things if you think about some things a little longer.

Stardew Valley is full of odd little things if you think about some things a little longer.

Stardew Valley is perfect for you if you want to escape the stress of everyday life. Just a little relaxed farms, fishing, meeting people and caring for animals, what could possibly go wrong? Well, quite a lot, as anyone who’s experienced the mundane insanity of Pelican Town for any length of time probably knows. Anyone who has played Stardew Valley probably knows the following situations all too well.

David whey

David writes as a freelance writer for GamePro and has loved farming sims since the first Harvest Moon on the SNES. Stardew Valley gives him everything he ever wanted from the genre. Accordingly, he can now look back on around 300 hours of playing time, which is divided between the Nintendo Switch and the PC. But the many absurd little things still make him, uh, smile.

Sleepless Nights in Stardew Valley: The Energy and Sleep Conundrum

Almost everything in Stardew Valley consumes energy and we need to be in the trap by 2am at the latest. This is perhaps the greatest challenge, especially at the beginning of a new farm. After all, there is so much to do and so little time and even less energy. Luckily, energy can be replenished by eating and drinking, but there’s just no escaping a good night’s sleep.

Total Breakdown: It has happened far too often that I just wanted to do these two (or three, four, five) things quickly and didn’t make it home in time. If we collapse from exhaustion, it can come to a rude awakening: If we just make it home, that’s not so bad. But if fate catches us somewhere else, we end up in the hospital and have to pay for it.

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Particularly unpleasant: Someone must have spotted us and dragged us to Harvey’s in the clinic. He even searches our pockets to get money for this questionable service. Warning, mini-spoilers: Luckily at some point in the endgame there is a way to solve the problem once and for all with a magic wand.

Fishing: If we only catch crap again in Stardew Valley

You surely know it: After a short time we can also fish in Stardew Valley. The big problem with the mechanic is that, firstly, it’s quite difficult to learn and master, and secondly, it’s not particularly fun. Unfortunately, fishing is also the most difficult at the beginning and then becomes easier and easier, which actually feels like it should be the other way around. But so be it.

Especially annoying is natural in the beginning, when we fish heaps of garbage out of the lakes, rivers and the ocean. Broken glasses, broken CDs, wet newspapers, driftwood, you name it. The algae seem almost welcome and valuable, after all we can feed them. Which is sorely needed with all the wasted energy.

Pro tip: You can save yourself fishing in the small pond on the property of your own farm if you use the standard layouts. In all these years I have never caught anything but rubbish here and believe me, I have tried very often and for a long time. With a really good fishing rod, the right bait and fishing tackle and a large fish bar in the perfect place, the whole thing eventually becomes really fun.

Stardew Valley - PS4 trailer for the spiritual successor to Harvest Moon shows the cycle of life


Stardew Valley – PS4 trailer for the spiritual successor to Harvest Moon shows the cycle of life

Pelican Town’s store hours are just awful

Pierre’s shop is something like my personal Mecca at the beginning of a new farm in Stardew Valley. But even after 300 hours it still happens regularly that I just don’t think about the fact that Pierre is closed on Wednesdays. But it’s even more annoying when he’s in the store but not behind the counter. I can’t buy anything like this, Pierre! And I need that fruit tree now!

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Museum and Forge: Particularly effective farmers combine shopping at Pierre’s with a trip to blacksmith Clint and the museum below. Eventually we want to complete the collection, improve our tools and break open all the geodes. But who the hell can remember these opening hours? Exactly, nobody. Far too often I’ve stood in front of closed doors.

But at least you can just look on the map to see who opens when exactly. As soon as you meet the relevant requirements, later in the game there is also the option of driving around comfortably with the cart and thus saving a great deal of time.

Friendships, love and gifts in Stardew Valley

The gift system together with hearts and affection is such a thing in itself. Once we figure out who likes what, we can shower our hearts with affection. The system suffers a bit from its simplicity, but it is definitely fun.

just stupid, when we accidentally give away something completely different from what we originally intended. Or we just wanted to talk to this one person and accidentally gave her a freshly caught fish. Too many times I’ve antagonized the residents of Pelican Town by accidentally giving them something that wasn’t planned.

Especially annoying Of course it is if it’s a super rare prismatic shard or something similar. Not that I’ve experienced that and actually wanted to get hold of the best weapon in the game, no… But well, in an emergency you can always just quit the game without saving and start the day all over again.

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Milking, hearting and feeding animals is a test of patience

Once you have built the stables, you can of course also keep animals on your farm. They have various requirements and produce the best products when they can go out regularly, don’t have to freeze, are properly fed, milked and stroked.

I will never get over thishow nasty it feels to accidentally want to milk a cow that I’ve already milked and that won’t be able to milk any more that day. Or a goat. Or a pig. The sound alone still pisses me off. But luckily there will be a machine for that later.

Exactly the same applies to the possibility – or rather the compulsion I developed from it – to pet the animals. There are few things I hate more than when these lovely little animals drive me insane because they run wildly while I try to really pet everyone. Almost an impossibility!

Not sure if you want to experience this everyday life yourself? Our test video is sure to help:

Stardew Valley - Test video for the hit farm on Steam


Stardew Valley – Test video for the hit farm on Steam

You can find out more about Stardew Valley here:

If you already know Stardew Valley inside and out, you might be hungry for more. Then we have good news for you: Eric Barone aka Concerned Ape is already working on a game that at least takes place in the same universe as Stardew Valley. It’s called Haunted Chocolatier and, as the title suggests, is about chocolate, among other things. Here, too, there should be a lot of curiosities waiting for us that drive us a little crazy, but somehow belong to it.

When it comes to Stardew Valley’s everyday absurdist madness, what are your favorites? How long have you been working in the game?