Because I now live in a country that isn’t the UK, I get different bank holidays to staff in the UK, which it turns out is almost everyone else. This means I’m at work today and Friday. For other people outside the UK who don’t know, this weekend it is celebrating the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee. She’s the first UK monarch to manage 70 years on the throne, most of the other ones having killed each other or somesuch. The country, specifically England, has responded to this by going absolutely off the boil, represented even in digi-form with a virtual street party map in Minecraft. I wouldn’t normally write about it, but it gives me an excuse to republican post on main when nobody is looking.
The quote unquote Traditional Street Party is courtesty of Nvidia, who commissioned Ushio Tokura’s three-person team to build it (with 45 million blocks, apparently). It includes Pall Mall, the Queen’s Guard in their big hats, Buckingham Palace and then the street party itself, which is a terraced street with all bunting and tables set up. At night there is a firework show, the better to show off that RTX ray tracing that Nvidia are always on about. There is “a pudding competition”. I have no idea what this means but it sounds like it’s probably slang for something absolutely filthy.
You may be picking up that I’m not a monarchist, but since I’m able to view it from the outside with a bit more detatchment, the Jubilee furore appears to be an interesting collective cultural artifact of where England is at right now. Part “‘Prince Andrew’ is already trending on Twitter, lol” but a greater part “I have made a felted diorama of the Royal Family from my dogs’ hair!”. Regent Street is covered in so many flags that it’s sort of impossible to joke about. The Queen has successfully colonized the Bronze Age. They’re putting crowns back on pint glasses and maybe even bringing back imperial measurements (presumably because both of those are easier than bringing back hanging). There’s a… they’re doing a tree made of… of trees??
You have to laugh, don’t you? This Minecraft map is a dishonest representation of a trad UK street party, which would ideally feature room temperature bottled beer, sunburn, and neighbors getting in fights about who the good folding camping chairs actually belong to. I originally had a paragraph of much, much more mean jokes about the UK and the monarchy there, so you can consider my deleting it a present, yer maj. For an actual cultural record of England in game form I agree with Alice0’s recommendation to check out Duke Smoochem, a Duke Nukem 3D level. the mega thread on Twitter is still being updated.
If you’re a royalist who plays Minecraft and you’ve gotten to the end of this article, you can download Nvidia’s Jubilee map here. Someone on team had a look and declared it not as good as the Christmas Minecraft one they done.