The Quarry – Zero Score

The Quarry - Zero Score

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Wow, another Supermassive game “The timeless counterpoint to the ‘practice makes perfect’ aphorism.” Games. Between Until Dawn and Dark Pictures Anthology, Supermassive has made great strides in the medium of choose your own adventure books, through the innovative and audacious technique of including the motion-captured faces of the least expensive celebrities to ever create an account. by cameo. His new game The Quarry is his most ambitious adventure book yet, there are three recognizable celebrities in it. Admittedly, with a combined screen time of about half an hour, but I’m guessing after the developers cornered them at a convention, they only had a limited amount of time before the bathroom door was smashed by bodyguards. I remember vaguely enjoying Until Dawn, I mean, for all that branching-road storytelling is supposed to offer, it had all the replay value of a traumatic amputation of a leg, but the overblown horror and terrifyingness of the characters gave me They gave it a certain slasher B-movie charm. I found the Dark Pricktease endoscopy to be one complete waste of time after another, so now, perhaps understandably, Supermassive has gone back to what worked and made Until Dawn 2: this time it’s in a haunted quarry.

Because it’s more or less the same damn plot: a group of teenagers played by 27-year-olds out of work come to a party in an isolated house, there’s an excruciatingly long preparation period, and then the monsters in the forest start to eliminate them. The only difference is that it’s set at a summer camp, and that just means you took a copy-paste break until dawn to copy-paste Friday the 13th instead. I will say this for Supermassive Games, they are world class experts in creating entire casts of characters that I instantly and completely despise. They should be engaged in war propaganda. If they made one of these games starring a bunch of Russian military officers, I’d join the Ukrainian defense force before you can say Pierre Kirillovich Bezukhov. A lot of that comes from animation. There’s still an awkwardness about motion capture faces, because of course “Haunted Quarry” is synonymous with “Uncanny Valley.” There’s something very wrong with everyone’s mouth and teeth, like they’ve been enlarged in post-production or something. The stock “hot girl” character, in particular, looks like she’s trying to speak through a muffin that’s been hot glued to her face.

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But the dialogue makes me hate them all too. Everyone has a bad case of verbally explaining their personalities to each other. “Why are you always so optimistic?” “Why are you always telling jokes?” Those were jokes, right? Fucking news for me. I couldn’t decipher them through their private language of arrogant snorts and constant unnecessarily abrasive digs at each other. Basically every two-way dialogue option boils down to “be a complete asshole” or “be a partial asshole” and even exclusively taking the second option, it still felt like everyone was trying to break the disgusting speed record. “Okay, I hated you after six words of dialogue, let’s see who can beat that. Wow, hold the phone, the amateur athlete is wearing a backwards baseball cap. He wins. He did it at zero”. So I hated them for how they looked and what they said, then they tripled by making me hate them for what they did. The plot begins with an athletic guy deliberately sabotaging everyone’s ride home so he can try again to put his leg on a hot girl. And then, of course, they all decide to have a loud party because they’re teenagers in a slasher movie and they only have three impulses: throw a loud party, strip down to their briefs, or stand like crazy in front of something they can easily stick themselves into. .

But let’s save my other story complaints for after the spoiler warning. There have been some improvements to the game. The game no longer tracks each character’s stats, I guess they realized no one believed for a second that that was any less useless than tracking his nostril count. And now there’s a life system, if someone dies and you have a weird personality deviation that means you didn’t want them to die, you can spend a life to get one or two options back and try to save them. Which I guess is a positive addition because once again you have absolutely no hope of guessing what any of your decisions will do. You will decide not to pick up a box of fireworks in chapter two because you have no way of knowing that you need them to fight the venusian griffin at a specific point in chapter nine. On top of that yeah it’s til dawn again, choose your own adventure format, quick time events, horrible sticky third person motion, weird smug narrator who interrupts the action from time to time to remind you to think carefully about your next completely random decision. And like all previous Supermassive Choose Your Own Adventure books, if the intention is to make me feel like I’m watching a movie, I’d think it was a very poorly edited one.

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It’s always painfully obvious when alternate dialogue has been exchanged, because there will be an awkward pause and someone’s emotional state will mysteriously change on a dime. The geography of each scene is very poorly established. Characters have a strange habit of teleporting in and out of the room between cuts. Like, we fight a monster and then, oh no, the monster is attacking Lance Henriksen now and I’m like when the hell did Lance Henriksen get here? Was he supposed to sense that from the general air of slightly improved acting talent in the atmosphere? So, just before I get into some of the major plot spoilers, I’ll just say that the stupid allure of the Supermassive adventure books is wearing thin and a good percentage of the dialogue scenes were so painful to watch that I just got through them. for gluing fake arched eyebrows to the screen so they could pretend everyone was being ironically hateful idiots. Okay, spoiler time. So the monsters show up in the forest, like I said, and the weird redneck locals show up, too. And the game goes to great lengths to make us think that redneck, weirdo locals are bad, and I didn’t believe that for a second.

From the beginning I assumed that they were there to hunt down the monsters and were trying to protect the teenagers, but being a bit silly about it. I mean, until Dawn had the exact same twist. However, The Quarry desperately tries to keep the simulation going for a long time. “Oh no! You’re caught in a trap and here comes some weird redneck with a knife! Quick, press the button to throw a rock at their heads.” No. I won’t press the button. Because I think he’s coming to free me from the trap.”You don’t know that! It’s getting closer! Better press the button!” Honestly, I’m a little insulted that you assumed I’d be prejudiced against them just because they seem like weird rednecks. You know you’re feeding conservative America’s persecution complex. Frankly, I’m more prejudiced against that sexy girl character with the weird mouth because I care that if I take my eyes off her for a second, she’ll start biting off the heads of the baby squirrels. “Too late! The redneck is here! Last chance!” Oh, time’s up. What now, game. “Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, your character broke free and ran away. Lucky them!” For the love of God. Why can we never just do what would be sensible? “Because then the game would be over in two minutes, Yahtz.” It works for me, La Cantera! You walked right into that one, didn’t you? Press X to avoid the verbal trap.

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