Elden Ring in the gaze of the snarling retro grandpa – p.1 – user article

Elden Ring in the gaze of the snarling retro grandpa - p.1 - user article


Grandpa says, “Elden Ring? Nice shit. But my boy! It all happened before when I was young!” Is Grandpa right about that or is it a precursor to dementia?

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I pimp and say hello to you in a very classy way. I’m with Opache in our Walls. But while Knispel molds off in his armchair and snores to himself, I sit fat in front of my next-gen console. Elden ring (in the test). However, I’m not the flexer now. So don’t stress. As I play this, the old man next to me is half asleep and half awake. Loud snoring through your nose can be really bad.

I was about to turn up the volume when I got into a new area with my char level 90 and 90 hours of life invested. Capital city. Age. What are those new powerful gnomes there again!? Grandpa runs some saliva from the corner of his mouth. Is he aware of my failure right now? I’m annoyed. Being demoted to a leek in the game again and again. But somehow it’s also addictive.

Opachen probably gets more of my scenario than I would like. Because he keeps whispering something into his gray beard: “Top class … action arcade games … eighties … nineties …”. Then he soaps something from “LionheartThe Last Ninja … take revenge for the brotherhood… first light all the candles…”. I don’t find it at all relatable what Grandpa means. Then he clears his throat almost too clearly: “… My boy, don’t give up … but, you must know, it’s all been there before…” and then he falls into a deeper sleep.

Lit as fuck. An oracle is nothing compared. How far is grandpa really? How will a mirroring of the cutting-edge next-gen hit Elden Ring turn out with action hits from the days before the home computer? Is an ironic smiley needed at the end, is grandpa right or is it a precursor to dementia? We’ll see now…

Elden Ring: Ingame dark fantasy atmosphere at its best and invites you to explore freely.
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Sir Galahad is referred to as the “Pure Knight” or the “Immaculate Knight”. This trait allows him, unlike others, to find the Holy Grail. However, many will despair on their arduous journey, here to the new Lord of Elden:

So too player one on June 10, 2022 GamersGlobal: “For me, the capital was definitely the break in the game, with which I had had a good 50 hours of fun up to that point. Most of the game mechanics and the story are too subtle for me, I would never figure it out on my own. Beads of sound, tears of the HavenotSeen, whetstones, shimmering feces, ashes of war. … No problem if you like George describes it in the video, chats up an NPC seven times, turns three times and buries shimmering feces of a werebear behind the 5th church of Marika under a full moon. Or something like that. But I don’t feel like doing that anymore… That’s too much of a good thing for me, but it was a completely different gaming experience than what I usually prefer. Was fun”.

Others gave comfort thereupon, but also succumbed to the splendor of arrogance on their perilous path. So then Danywilde on the same day: “Really? I really liked the capital with its widely ramified paths”.

What should I add there? Perhaps: “…as long as you only have your tongue and your beautiful words, a cloak made of thin bliantsilk (linen batiste) will suffice as armor…”, loosely based on Peredur “the gold-tongued” fab Efrawg. In fact, out of sheer annoyance, I walked through the capital naked. Uncovered quite a few beacons until later I got stuck on a boss. Other people gave me the idea of ​​a nude run (how far can you run naked in the game before you get killed).

Are you just now and further wondering what the shit with Sir Galahad is all about here? Babo, did I maybe program the Round Table into Elden Ring or what? And there is also a certain Sir Gideon “The All-Knowing” in the game. The omniscient? Really now? But that’s just my humor: With storytelling, you first have to be able to program an “all-knowing” person as an explainer. It’s like throwing the lifebelt to yourself when you’re drowning. More on the subject later. Now to the next section. Here I am just cringe with you.

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Left: Off to the nude run. Right: One less gnome. But most of them come back. Grandpa says it used to be that way too: if you go back one screen, all the enemies are there again. Yolo – not in Elden Ring.


The foul breath does not come from the rattling grandpa, but comes from the dragon communion, located regionally in Caelid. It is a fully legal weapon in Elden Ring and is not cheated in any way. So is it my fault if one of the most powerful Swaggernauts named General Radahn inhales it poisoning himself and then drops dead a short time later? However, I’ve become unsure about this. sus So I grab my smartphone: derivation of terms.

While people in France are guillotined for Anglicisms, I just wanted to see if the German verb “jemanden cheesen” is cruelly based on an English noun “the cheese”. To my relief, “to cheese somebody” is already a verb in English. Sheesh. Half as bad.

Playing Cheesy is Google’s way of defeating a boss, enemy, or level in a video game in an unorthodox, easy way. In a way that is possible but not intended by the designers. The player uses advantages in relation to areas that cannot be reached by the AI ​​as well as movement patterns, animations, objects. The player compensates for his own shortcomings, is comfortable, unskilled and bypasses actually needed strength, skill and ability. If I keep checking this, I’ll get Screenitus right away. I am therefore looking for proximity to bros in a gaming-related forum in order to get more practical information there.

There is a lot of banal traffic in the postings in the forum in question, until the following post catches my eye: “You cheated not only the game, but yourself. You didn’t grow. You didn’t improve. You took a shortcut and gained nothing. You experienced a hollow victory. Nothing was risked and nothing was gained. It’s sad that you don’t know the difference”. No front, but I’ve read enough about some fundamentalists.

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Supposedly unimportant details in the game, such as a ledge, should be the focus of Grandpa in the following illustration as well as in the next section.

Lionheart: Grandpa bravely runs back (1), jumps onto the pedestal and keeps his balance. The opponent programmed to be a jerk (2) cannot attack past the imaginary barrier and then traipses back (3). Grandpa awkwardly stabs him in the back (4).

The cheesy end of the proud and golden horseman

No, this golden rider. A true noble among bosses. Oh, what a proud warrior the programmers created there. He roams Limgrave in all his glory, wielding a huge golden halberd as his weapon.

Top combat mechanics: The boss attacks us with a deadly blow and is perfectly and impressively balanced with his horse in the air while he is moving. Lionheart next to it probably too. Somehow. In any case.

He exasperated and enraged me in battle as he leapt proudly, dodged gracefully after me, dodged, and effortlessly killed me with his halberd stroke. Then turned away bored and just went on his way again. A real super guy who is also aware of it. one like that A gold boy.

Unfortunately, its creators denied it the ability to deal damage overhead. Unfortunately, his creators denied him the gift of being able to hop onto a certain pedestal, despite a proud and certainly jumping war horse.

I laughed out loud with happiness and satisfaction as I stood on this pedestal. Yes, just a moment ago he was still the elegant knight and now he jumps like a furious nickel in full rage and uncontrolled against the edge of this very cliff. Doing, doing, doing and again and again. He doesn’t come up. While I finish him off with my measly long range spell and some blue pods. The opponents in this game have given me so much heartache and pain. For real. That used to be my moment.

At this point, no cheesen is possible: the giant cuts through the dome with his axe. Unlike me, the dome remains undamaged. I fall down the elevator shaft from the pressure of the push.