LoL: “There’s not much in my life besides the game,” says one star gamer, beginning to cry on Twitch

Swede Martin “Rekkles” Larrson (26) has dedicated his life to League of Legends e-sports, has had a glittering career and is considered one of the best players Europe has ever produced. In a twitch stream, he chose runes for Senna, talked about a possible end to his career, his life and then it broke out of him.

This is Rekkles:

• The Swede started his pro career in Season 2 of LoL, 11 years ago. He has been a part of League of Legends’ growth from humble beginnings to today’s esports titan.
• Rekkles has also grown over time: he is now considered one of the most well-known LoL players in Europe: The 26-year-old has 600,000 followers on Twitter, more than 1 million follow him on Twitch, and his fortune is estimated at around $5 million. The man is a star at 26.
• But sporty things haven’t been running smoothly for a few years: At 26 years old, Rekkles is one of the oldest professionals in LoL and has had difficult years. The last season in particular was disastrous for his old love Fnatic.

Before the start of a match, Rekkles burst into tears

He now said this in a Twitch stream: When Rekkles isn’t playing pro, he likes to show off his plays in solo queue on Twitch. He last streamed on February 28 in front of more than 8,000 viewers.

He was on the air for two and a half hours, choosing runes for the heroine Senna, when he suddenly caught a sentimental moment.

He reflects on last season when he played poorly and was in danger of being replaced by younger German Upset. That would have meant the end of his career, says Rekkles.

At this point you notice how it is working in him, you can hear him sobbing. Suddenly, as the characters log in, he bursts out:

“A big realization that I’ve had is that my life is…well…I don’t feel like there’s much going on except — Sorry.”

Rekkles struggles with himself, covering his eyes with a hand, then starts crying as the game begins, trying to collect himself. That’s quite a lot, he tells the viewers.

The viewers write in the chat: “It’s all good man” – “It’s okay” – “We love you Rekkles” – “We’re with you, no matter what.” – “We’re here for you.”

But Rekkles has already turned away in his chair and needs a moment to collect himself.

Rekkles says he didn’t want that. He doesn’t even understand how that happened as he turns back to the game.

How did that go? Rekkles silently plays down his match, defending the tower on the botlane with Senna. When he ports back to the base for the first time, after five or six minutes, to buy items, he gets up from the chair briefly and when he comes back, he is apparently ready to continue the conversation:

“Sorry, that came now because I started talking about it. I realized that I don’t have much in my life except to play. If that doesn’t work, it’s just hard, I think. It was difficult to stay strong, especially during the last season. But it is okay. I can’t do anything about it now.

The Swede then plays a good game with Senna, but his team is weaker, they lose the match. The ADC is apparently to blame.

It’s rare that LoL pros give such a glimpse into their inner workings. Only he knows what is going on in Faker:

Only once during the stream does he address the topic. He later says it just hit him hard after the winter. It was a sense of loss to see how his career could end. That’s weird or maybe not, maybe it’s just a new experience. He tried to work on it while spending time in his homeland, Sweden.

“I tried to build a life outside of the game, but I didn’t get very far.”

How quickly such a career can end for the world’s best in LoL has been seen again and again:

One of the best LoL players of all time retires – shattered health at 23