Steam: Dwarf Fortress Announces “Sweet” Update Bringing Babies – Players Have 4 Sinister Ideas Immediately

Fantasy sim Dwarf Fortress has had a crazy run since it hit Steam. Now the team also has more resources. The developers announce a new update, “the cutest update yet”: Everything that lives should have babies in Dwarf Fortress – but players have nasty ideas.

What is this update? Developer Alexandra said on March 15 (via steam): This could be the “cutest update ever made in Dwarf Fortress”: Everything that lives in the game gets a baby form, in some cases even a child form.

There are already “young creatures” in Dwarf Forress, but they don’t have their own model – because Dwarf Fortress was only shown in Ascii code before it was launched on Steam anyway.

These new models should soon make it much easier for players to recognize the age of a creature in Dwarf Fortress: So far, dwarf children have simply had the model of adult dwarfs – only with a red shirt.

The developer then shows pictures of various animals and human-like creatures in the game, such as gremlins, alligators or troglodytes (cave dwellers) – always with the child and baby forms.

Players immediately have sinister fantasies about what they do to cute babies

What evil thoughts do players have? The fans of Dwarf Fortress are known for their absolute unscrupulousness: There is a very bad story about mermaid babies, we reported about it on MeinMMO.

And it doesn’t take long for the supposedly “cute news” to spawn some dark thoughts:

• “Hmm… so there could be some evil necromancer killing a bunch of the cute fluffy animals and turning them into an army of fluffy cute zombies… hm. I’m just saying it like that.”
• “Can’t wait to put baby troglodytes in my baby troglodyte crusher!”
• “These baby critters are so cute! Too bad most of them will end up as shoes.”
• “Wow, how cute! Can’t wait to see how adorable their little bodies will look when they’re strewn all over my fortress after pulling the wrong lever and freeing a steel beast.”

Well, it’s a rough world out there. The really nice story about Dwarf Fortress is about the developers:

2 brothers spend 20 years developing a game, run out of money – put it on Steam and become millionaires

The cover photo is a photo by Mikhail Vasilyev on Unsplash