Super Smash Bros. Ultimate doesn’t have too many ‘anime sword users’

Now that Sora’s arrival has sealed the deal on the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate roster forever, I can finally say what I’ve been holding back for years: the game doesn’t have too many “anime sword users.” It’s the loudest complaint about the game, and it turns me upside down. While I understand where it comes from, it is also completely exaggerated and inaccurate. I’m not saying you shouldn’t worry about such a thing – variety is the spice of life and no one wants an overabundance of the same type of character. But it’s not as big a problem as sword haters would have you believe, and I’m here to prove it in every scientific and absurd way imaginable.

First, let’s discuss the term “anime sword user”. What does that really mean? The label “anime” doesn’t make sense as none of the Smash characters come from a real anime. They are all original video game characters. There is no anime available.

Now you may be saying, “You are discussing semantics. Them Sight like anime characters. ‘ Banjo Kazooie, Minecraft Steve and, to be super technical, Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong and King K. Rool (because Rare, a British studio, conceived these guys even though Nintendo owns the characters).

Don’t listen to me; I am making fun of this objectively silly part of the complaint. I know that the term “anime sword user” grew out of the perceived abundance of Fire Emblem characters, fighters that best fit the prototype of “anime style” (whatever that is). What people really seem to want to say is that there are too many representatives of Fire Emblem in Smash, although even those criticisms hardly hold up. Has anyone counted the list? There are eight Fire Emblem fighters in a game of over 80 characters. Really, take that. Out of 82 characters (89 with Echoes, but we’ll stick with the official number), only eight come from Fire Emblem. Is just 10 percent of the list too much?

The Ultimate roster has 11 characters from the Mario series. Twelve when you include Donkey Kong (which totally counts, but I’m being ultraspecific for the sake of the plot). That’s roughly 14 percent of the list, still very little in the grand scheme, but why doesn’t anyone care about this? Not only that, but people were yelling at Sakurai to add Waluigi! Hey, I’m one of them, I’ve wanted that purple goof in the game for years. But I’m also not complaining that no series has too many representatives. I smell some prejudice against Fire Emblem.

Would it be acceptable for Luke Skywalker, an American-made swordsman, to join the list? That is a rhetorical question, as I know that the main problem lies with the swords themselves. But for those who just hate anyone using such a weapon, no matter what they look like or where they come from, let’s take a look at how many pure sword-wielders the game actually has.

Out of the roster of 82 Super Smash Bros. Ultimate characters, only 22 use a sword as their primary weapon. Here they are below:

• Byleth
• chrome
• Cloud
• Corrin
• Dark well
• Hero
• Ike
• Link
• Lucina
• Marth
• Meta knight
• Mii sword fighter
• Pit
• Pyra / Mythra
• Robin
• Roy
• Sephiroth
• Shulk
• Sora
• Steve
• Toon link
• Young link

These fighters make up just 27 percent of the total roster, or just over 1/4. That might sound substantial, but it also means that 60 characters don’t use swords as their primary weapons. Sixty characters! Most fighting games are lucky to have 30 or 40 characters in total. “Too much” would suggest that at least half the list was brandishing a sword. They do not do it! To further drive this point home, and because nothing says “I’m right” better than a visual aid, I painstakingly created this useful and exciting pie chart for reference:

As you can see, the visual representation of users not using swords looks like Pac-Man. Do you know who doesn’t use a sword either? Pac-Man. Coincidence? I do not think so. What does it mean? Something.

Looking at it like this, you will see that there are an overwhelming number of fighters who would not fall into the hated category of swords. Thus, in reality, there are a plethora of alternatives for those who despise sword users with the burning passion of a thousand hotheads. So why do we keep talking about “too many sword users”?

There are also a few caveats to consider that further strengthen my argument:

• Sora’s Keyblade is not a sword. It’s a great key. Sure, he swings it like a sword, but no one would call me a swordsman if I moved a broom. Sometimes it turns into something more like a blade, but it won’t in Smash (probably due to Disney’s lack of involvement).
• Pit / Dark Pit are essentially the same character, so it could be argued that they count as a sword user. They also wield double swords that play more like twin daggers than anything else. He is not the user of your grandmother’s sword at all.
• Link’s trio plays pretty much the same thing with a few minor differences, so it could also be argued that they are just single-user sword variations.
• Steve barely deciphers this list, as his sword is definitely not the star of his move set. It could be cut easily.
• Nobody cares about Mii Swordfighter. Period.

Look, I’m not saying you should like Sephiroth, Lucina, or Shulk. I also get tired of Ike hitting me like his personal shuttlecock. I’m just saying now that Super Smash Bros. complains to him. Just say you don’t like them. The numbers don’t lie. Cranky fans, on the other hand? Maybe just a little.

* Final notes to squash some possible rebuttals:

• Ganandorf was not included because he throws his hands as often as he draws his sword.
• That’s a knife that Joker uses.
• Are you really going to try to get Kirby in? Seriously?