All the scenes in Dune where people secretly poop.

You may have heard that everyone in Dune poops in his pants. While Denis Villenueve’s new film adaptation avoids mentioning this simple canonical fact, it does not deny Either, so anyone who’s read Frank Herbert’s original novel or seen the 1984 David Lynch movie version can whisper to their date how that on-screen guy Paul Dune is totally Dune a big one in his pants in this one. moment.

Or at least, that’s what I wanted to do at the time I saw this movie: a luxurious and completely fascinating show that, despite its length, I did not leave a single time to go to the bathroom. In the future where Dune Part Two it’s a reality and I’m doing marathons in a theater, that can be more of a challenge. A stationary suit could help.

As you will know from reading Dune (or the handy Polygon Dune Guide dot com), the Fremen, who are native to the harsh desert planet of Arrakis, have developed what they call distillation suits to survive without fresh water. Distillation suits recycle almost all moisture from the body, which Herbert’s novel notes include urine and feces, which are processed on the thigh pads of the distillation suit.

Like I said, once you have this fact in your head firmly enough to remember it while watching Dune, you immediately want to know who is pooping and when. So I did that.

[Ed. note: The rest of this post contains mild spoilers for Dune (2021).]

Pooping is definitely part of the Gom Jabbar ritual

While this scene takes place before any of our heroes set foot on Arrakis and there is no fixed costume in sight, there is absolutely no way someone would not undergo the Gom Jabbar ritual (the one with the box pain). without canceling absolutely everything. There is no shame in this, it is an absolutely incredible way to treat a teenager, and Paul carries it with incredible poise.

Duke Leto, excellent party pooper

I’m speculating a bit here, mainly because I want to notice the look of satisfaction on Duke Leto’s face when he arrives at Arrakis. As the newcomer to Arrakis regent, I don’t think Leto would allow himself to have a BM no matter how impressed he was by the immobile suit, as it happens most of the time. Dune feeling trapped between worlds and still undecided about the best way to accumulate desert power. Instead, I imagine this is what Leto’s face number two looks like, because Duke Leto does everything the same way: generously.

Stilgar, showing the utmost respect

Dune It’s not exactly a comedy, but it does have a funny fish-out-of-water scene or two, like when Duke Leto’s council meets leader Fremen Stilgar for the first time. Stilgar doesn’t have time for imperial decorum, but he does have a few customs of his own, like spitting on the duke’s table out of respect. Fremen regard body moisture as incredibly valuable and, as Duncan Idaho tells the Duke, it means a lot when they don’t keep it. So it makes sense for Stilgar to immediately go to work recycling some fresh moisture to make up for the loss.

Paul i get it

This is young Paul’s first bad trip with the spices, and there will be many more to come. It is also his first close encounter with a sandworm. Actually, there is only one reasonable answer to all of that.

Dune’s Sneaky Party Killer

At this point, you’re probably wondering if I’m simply bringing up every scene where someone is wearing a fixed suit (and a few where they’re not) in a cheap tactic to enjoy bathroom humor at work. That would be false. This is a work of careful study and reflection, done by someone who has thought much over his gut and he would absolutely enjoy the freedom of a distillation suit.

Take, for example, this scene, where there is Many Fremen squatting in anticipation of Duneclimactic duel. It would be easy to say that it is a community evacuation, but it would be cheap and false. There’s only one person pooping here, and they’re the one who tries the hardest to look the most relaxed.

It’s Zendaya.